Phil Fox Rose

« Last Temptation | Main | Hear some mixes here »

April 14, 2007

How I got here

(The following was my contribution to an essay in the St. Ignatius Loyola newsletter.)

I've been a spiritual seeker all my life. Raised atheist by ex-Mormons, I journeyed through Quakerism and Buddhism, and Centering Prayer acquainted me with Catholic monasticism, which I explored but abandoned. Last year, grace led me into a new close friendship with someone who embodies loving Catholicism. Our rich conversations about spiritual matters and my discovery of St. Augustine's writings helped me see the Church and a life of faith in an entirely new way. She guided me to St. Ignatius and as I sat near the back that first Sunday, though I had yet to understand the mysteries of the Trinity and Eucharist, the relevance of objects all around me -- our amazing RCIA program would later fill those in -- the moment the plainchant began, I knew I was no longer a seeker. St. Augustine describes his conversion as returning home, and that's what it feels like for me. Also like him, I feel called. I'm long past my "formative years" and didn't convert for a spouse or child, yet I have found myself drawn to this sea change, this awakening, like it was inevitable. As the beautiful Jeremiah passage says, 'You have seduced me, O God, and I have let myself be seduced.'